There is one phrase that will hold you back more than any other one I have found in dealing with this myself and coaching people around confidence for years..
…EVERYONE with social anxiety says it to themselves at some point, or feels it even if the words don’t come out this way.
It ALWAYS underneath in some for or another in some shape or form.
It held me back for most all of my life until my first true confidence crossover back in 2011 and kept me socially anxious, awkward and generally just feeling bad about myself all the time.
It is even working behind the scenes in your life right now to sabotage your personal, professional and social success and hold you back from having the friends, career, and the romantic life you want…
…and EVERYONE is trying to achieve these things directly not understanding how broken heir mental system is and everything is all F&!K#D up because of it!
In the days of future past I’d try to achieve things without working directly on this phrase, which I will reveal in a moment to you.
And what happened was every time I bought something new or read some new idea or seen something on a free video – I’d only add it to what I was doing in my life – which already was NOT working very well…
…the problem was – that the techniques and methods of whatever it was, were GOOD and WORKED on an outer level…
…but ultimately not for ME and having that sense of relaxed, authentic confidence.
This pattern kept going on and on until I was a master at knowing a bunch of social techniques and quick confidence “fake it fixes” that NOTHING really worked in the long run…
…and all I had was more of what I didn’t want in my life…inside AND out!
However, there was an “undertow” that was going on in my mind that compounded this “not good enough” feeling and it made it even harder to be consistent at being social.
And people could FEEL IT too in my interactions with them.
Some of you know this about yourself and it also comes in the form of avoiding rejection, not wanting to be abandoned, and other variations.
And other of you are probably experiencing it right now and don’t even know it!
The phrase I’m talking about which you say to yourself (or some variation of it) is this…
“I’m NOT GOOD ENOUGH.”
Another “bonus” variation is:
“I don’t DESERVE…”
This generates a true lack of confidence IN YOU and sabotages not only your interactions but your enjoyment of them…
…which carries through in your confidence and vibe…and people can feel it!
They may not know exactly what “it” is but they feeling that something is up.
Here is what keeps the cycle going, in fact by not fixing this…
Every time you try a new technique to resolve your anxiety, or to start a conversation and meet new people you get really excited.
“This is the one!” You think.
“I know this is going to work now!”
OR how about…
“I have a great feeling about this…
…I really have HOPE now!”
Am I right?
So you get excited and then EVERYTHING comes crashing down.
Because you try the next new shiny technique and get ZERO results…
No handle on your anxiety…
Not getting out of your house…
Not meeting any new people….
Not making solid and real connections with these people that carry on into friendships…
Still having that “weird social vibe” that either has people ignore you or drives them away!
Zero’s all around, unfortunately.
And you end up losing even more confidence in yourself and if anything will ever change.
It’s actually so normal when you have lived with social anxiety as you have.
I know it was for me.
And suffering from a lack of confidence around people and not just socially but especially IN YOU is not so easy.
In fact, it’s REALLY tough.
And guess what?
The behavior of searching and seeking for the magic pill all comes from this phrase of “not good enough”…
…because it will NEVER BE ENOUGH from this mindset!
Here’s the secret:
Along with resolving this conundrum by realizing you are good enough, no matter what…
…for maximum results without wasting any more precious time and energy…
…you need a system that fixes this, FITTED TO YOU and fixes your vibe all at the same time.
And you need two types of confidence to meet new people in a fulfilling way:
1. True Inner Confidence which is not being validated by things outside of your self
2. Competent Confidence which is having the skillsets to meet, connect and lead people to have great relationships with them.
How much longer are you going to go around trying everything under the sun to get new high ticket clients?
You are NOT everyone else.